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Emotional vampires are egotistical, manipulative, jealous, demanding, and self-serving. They are able to gain your friendship very quickly, then exploit it in every way they can to rob you of your own emotional energy. This person will take advantage of anyone in order to feed his or her own emotional needs. They will focus on the negative aspects of any situation, rather than enjoy the positive ones.
Any self-improvement program discusses the importance of de-cluttering your life to reduce your stress level. This includes ridding yourself of unhealthy relationships as well. Learn to protect your own happiness and emotional well being by being able to recognize these emotional predators so you can remove their negative influences from your life. Even though emotional vampires pretend to be your best friend in the world, they are parasites that feed on your well-being and happiness, robbing you of your vitality and enthusiasm for life.
Types of Vampires
In dealing with emotional vampires, you may run across a variety of negative, self-destructive, or socially unacceptable behaviors. Your emotional vampire may be a drama queen, blowing every little problem out of proportion until it has the appearance of a major catastrophe. There are those who love to be dramatic, displaying emotional outbursts and will do whatever it takes to be noticed. Irresponsible behaviors and unusual, outlandish looks can be found with this type of person.
An overly jealous or prejudiced person can drain you emotionally by constantly seeking proof of anything that is told to them, and is highly suspicious of other peoples’ motives. Then there is the obsessive person who drives him or herself to the brink of insanity by pushing too hard, then expects everyone around them to live up to the same exacting standards.
Motives
The majority of emotional vampires are acting out in order to try to make up for their own insecurities. They perceive themselves as lacking qualities that others find desirable, and therefore become outlandish in their behavior as they try to gain acceptance from others. The actions of the emotional vampire are misguided attempts to make themselves feel better about who they are by finding fault with others.
Protecting Yourself
If you suspect someone you know is an emotional vampire, scrutinize them in the harsh light of day. If they tell you an outlandish story, verify it with another source. Be wary of their words, and allow their actions to guide your interaction with them. Choose what you say to them very carefully, and ignore their temper tantrums. Know your own personal limitations, and do not give them anything to feed their already damaging and dysfunctional behavior.
Identify which parts of this person’s life are real, and which ones are merely an illusion. Choose your battles with this person very carefully, and always demonstrate the emotional control that they do not have.
The best way to deal with an emotional vampire is to never get involved with one to begin with. If you can avoid these people, or at least keep an emotional distance from them, your overall health and happiness will be better off. It can be difficult to do, though, because initially, many of these people are fun, attractive, sexy, and wildly adventurous people. In fact, even after making the discovery that someone involved in your life is emotionally draining, it can still be very difficult to sever the ties.
If you must spend time around one of these people, limit the amount of interaction you have with them. Keep your wits about you and maintain your common sense, since they likely will not. Do not allow yourself to be pulled into their drama, since doing so will only encourage them to continue their destructive behavior. If you can limit your contact with emotional vampires to the workplace, do so. Once they know they cannot draw you into their fantasies and feed off of your emotions, they will most likely leave you alone.
About the Author – Personal Coach David Bohl shares the viral message “Slow Down FAST” and helps people raise the roof on all facets of their lives without risking implosion. Get some must-haves for persevering in challenging times! Sign up for David’s online newsletter, The Bohl Report today.
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Oh my, do I know exactly what this article is talking about! I haven’t heard it called this before, but I certainly have known these types of people.
Great article! Problem is that some of them can’t be avoided and that’s when the troubles set in.
i’m afraid i am a victim… more than one person in my immediate circle , friends and relatives are the kind tht leave me drained after evry encounter, with the effort of communicating with them. It’s very hard to extricate myself from their clutches though, as deep down they are desperate and needy, and i dont have the heart to turn them away.
I think that’s where much of the problem comes in sometimes… they *are* needy and crying out for help.
My fear is that sometimes if we turn them away to “save ourselves” it could be damaging emotionally to them. I’ve known plenty of those, too.
My mother in law is exactly like this, even a phonecall with her is emotionally draining, but I feel it is my duty to make an effort with her. Everyone else has cut her off because she is so difficult, but I would hate myself if I turned my back on her.
To Kernow, you do not owe a duty to your mother in law who drains you. There is no need to hate yourself if you do not subject yourself to being vampired. Vampires take and take and take. They count on guilt and self hate. She can choose to turn around herself, it is not up to you.
I never thought their was a term to descirbe these people…it is an excellent article..and while reading it…I thought how common these type of people are, so it is not a problem with me that I have to deal with one or two of such persons but rather something we all face in society.
Many of these emotional vampires don’t intend harm and that makes it difficult, too… there’s one person I adore but every time I talk with her, it’s like a long list of who’s not well, who died, who’s about to die, etc. and I end up 100% drained. Unintentional vampirism, but same effect.
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