Okay, so I have to confess…. I don’t own an iPhone. And, I probably never will.

Fifteen hours a day is long enough to spend in front of my work laptop, so why the hell would I want to be electronically connected for the few hours that I happen to get some snatched playtime?

Yes, I aim to be *not connected* and definitely …. definitely out of *tweet* range.

I’m sure not everyone shares my lack of enthusiasm, but I really think that verbal conversations should be made a mandatory for a person’s mental health.

And please, if you invite me over to a dot com lunch, I want to hear ideas, listen to success stories, discuss new trends …. just put away the damn iPhones please. *enter twilight zone music cue* It’s an alternate reality universe and I’ve been unknowingly transported to iPhone Land. Get me outta here. The world’s gone mad with the iPhone craze.

Application and accessory developers are pushing out products as fast as possible trying to keep up with the trend. There’s most certainly a few good ones ….. the bad ….. and the downright horrible.

This baby is already available in hot pink, baby blue, white and black colors with a sizing chart to find the best fit. The product is called Phone Fingers and, as the advertisement says, you can buy five of your own for just $3 bucks. It was most likely developed with very good intentions – to keep dirty fingers smudging the screen – but we all know this is a serious fashion faux pax waiting to happen.

Last week, I ran an article at The Bikini Body Diet on iPhone as a Heart Rate Monitor. I thought it was a cool, novel concept until I found this picture on the actual implementation of the application. *no, don’t worry, it’s not an iPhone fetish…. it’s just taking my heart rate.* Can you just imagine the curious stares and having to explain what you’re doing? My recommendation …. don’t try this in public.

It will just be a matter of time before this toilet paper holder can be made compatible to house your iPhone in the loo. The only thing I ask …. is please, don’t flush the toilet if you are on the speaker phone with me. It’s really annoying.

The only mobile feature I’d like to see someday? *oh, please, let it do my laundry also*

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