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You go on a date with someone. And it’s Great.
You look good. You feel good. You connect with this person. You laugh. It feels like you could talk for days. And when you say “good-bye” you can’t wait for the next time…
Because you’re Absolutely, Positively Sure there WILL be a NEXT time.
And then…Nothing.
Poof. He’s gone.
No call. No e-mail. No text.
And it feels horrible.
So you speculate…Maybe he’s sick or lost my number???
And you re-enact…What could have possibly gone wrong???
And you poll your friends…What do YOU think???
And you wait…
And wait…
For the bloody phone to ring.
And it doesn’t.
And it’s driving you friggin’ insane because…
You don’t know what the “#$@*!” happened!
So what do you do???
1. Don’t Take it Personally
Because it’s not.
Men are logical. They know in advance if they’re interested in dating or courting a woman. And there are significant differences in the two.
Dating is having fun for the moment.
Courting is planning for the long term.
If he’s interested in dating, he’s not going to court you. Period.
He may have sensed on the date that you were more interested in courtship rather than having fun and casual sex.
If a man doesn’t call back, chances are he’s not ready for a committed relationship.
2. Mark Your Calendar
It’s common for a man to take 10 to 14 days to call back a woman.
Now before you start gettin’ all wiggy…if he’s Really Into You, he’s gonna call sooner. I’m talkin’ about the ones who don’t!
Men operate on VERY different time lines than women. Men’s brains are designed VERY differently from a woman’s. (It doesn’t take a scientist to figure that out! :))
It could take a man up to 8 WEEKS to call you back. (Yes. Seriously.) It could take him that long to process a decision to call.
So mark your calendar and be receptive if/when you hear from him.
3. Don’t CALL HIM
Or e-mail. Or text. Or whatever! Wait it out!
His NOT calling is giving you lots of information on where he’s at.
You don’t wanna be chasing him if he’s not into you!
If you haven’t heard from him…AFTER eight weeks…you can send him a non-verbal salutation. Perhaps a short e-mail or greeting card could “jump start” him back into action.
If he doesn’t respond, move on. He’s simply not available.
4. Keep Yourself Out There
Stay open to dating others.
Best word in the English dictionary is “Next.” If he’s not interested, someone else will be.
So dress up, go out and attract someone new.
Many times we send out signals that are misperceived because we’re unaware of our own behavior and how we’re being interpreted.
For more articles by the Dating Director go to: “Love Life & Looking Good” Article Blog.
About the Author - Cherry Norris, “The Dating Director”
Cherry Norris is a renowned celebrity dating coach, workshop director and popular speaker. Based in Los Angeles, California, Cherry is an official dating coach for Cupid’s Coach matchmaking service and the relationship expert on Catherine Oxenberg’s TV pilot, Practical Princess. She has been featured in The LA Times, The Hollywood Reporter, Divine Caroline, and Women’s World.
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Thanks for dropping by!
I’m not sure I can agree with #3. Why should it be up to the guy to send a “followup” email? Of course you don’t bombard him with email and calls and texts, but a “had a great time Saturday night, thank you for that!” seems like a good idea.
He’ll either answer or not, but you won’t be wondering if he lost your contact info.
I think so too katharina. I remember when I was dating my ex I did call him. We ended up being together for 5 years.
the tis are really good …what I beleive we women think too much about the subject especially if the subject is a man we will die for….the coolest thing to do is to be ool and even forget about the date…if he does call…he was always yours..otherwise…you have already forgotten about him as has he….
Yes… there’s a difference between calling to say you had a good time, or doing email for the same, and calling or writing constantly to pester the guy.
I agree with some of these but I am with the whole send him a follow up email after 8 weeks. Half the time if they have not called back in that amount of time I have already figured they are just not that into me and have moved on. If the guy is interested they normally call sooner than 8 weeks or at least that is what my guy friends say. If it takes 8 weeks, they are probably not interested unless of course they were in a coma for most of that time.
Well at least a coma *would* be a valid excuse… unlike some of the ones that they sometimes come up with, eh?
True it is a “valid” excuse and well some of the ones I have heard are pretty lame if now down right terrible. But I can honestly say I am have never heard the I was in a coma before myself.
No kidding. There have been some pretty priceless excuses not to call. One of the recent ones I have heard was my dog ate my cell phone and that was the only place I had your number. It was creative but the whole not having any pets chat we had on the date made it near impossible not to laugh at him.
I agree with Katharina, a ‘thank you email’ is polite. It gives him the chance to respond or not. Sometimes you just have to accept that he does not feel the same way about you.
Perhaps there needs to be a concerted effort to create some sort of standard dating etiquette!
Now that would be something to see, especially if everyone followed teh same rules for dating etiquette. I swear there are a ton of rules which change depending on location, the people involved and heck maybe even the weather.
Rules of etiquette. So many people need to be schooled in just the basic etiquette. It seems that being polite nowadays in our society is becoming more rare. I for one would love to see a return of the “old” days when it comes to dating and etiquette.
As I am nowhere near an expert at dating, I can only give my limited view here.
If I had a nice time with a lady and believe that she did as well, I wouldn’t wait a standard period of time to call her. I don’t really see the sense in that. I would probably ask if I could call her around a certain time when I would be able to talk with her (as long as she’s free to talk as well.
If two people seem to click, then just go with it. Why start putting rules in place that either person may not understand and may, unfortunately, end a possibly great relationship?
Sounds like a wise approach, Bobby. I think the “rules” part would probably cover things like not letting the other person wonder for weeks or months if you’re ever going to call back.
I guess maybe for some their should be some “Rules”, but for me it’s common sense and respect.
Another part to the problem may be the “Meat-factory” mindset where only one of the persons is looking for a one night stand. If both are looking for that, more power to them, but this doesn’t seem to be the norm and one party or another gets hurt.
Shame really
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