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What started out as an innocent comment about *how Dave doesn’t even know how much is paycheck is* turned into a full blown argument about who should handle the money in a relationship. It seems that I am the only one in the bunch that relinquishes control to my husband….. and…. the only one who asks for permission to spend.
After a round of *oh my*, *that’s not right* and *you are seriously whipped*, I found myself in a position of having to defend the decision of making my hubby the money guy – he has a finance degree, knows more about investments, pays the bills on time….. blah, blah, blah. That, and knowing that when it’s time for us to sit back, relax, see the kids get married and have children of their own, we will be more than financially comfortable.
And If I am really honest, I am glad I do not have that responsibility. Eventhough I make more than decent money, I am one of those *here today, gone tomorrow, and left with a closet full of Louis Vuitton shoes*. Not like Lem, who likes to stack building blocks today to build a mansion for tomorrow. Even, Ginene’s Three Dollars A Day Challenge only inspired me to do so for a short little while.
It was really funny because right about the time the girls and I were having a discussion, I started thinking back to Ginene’s challenge. I guess I must have had this strange look on my face while I was mentally calculating the $6 Starbucks coffee I usually spend on a weekly basis hanging out with them, that I ended up with ~
*what, do you have to ask him if you can pay for that coffee you’re drinking?*
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The Money Guy…
Over coffee the other day, my girlfriends and I got into a heated discussion about household finances.
What started out as an innocent comment about *how Dave doesn’t even know how much is paycheck is* turned into a full blown argument about who …
The Money Guy…
Over coffee the other day, my girlfriends and I got into a heated discussion about household finances.
What started out as an innocent comment about *how Dave doesn’t even know how much is paycheck is* turned into a full blown argument about who sh…
You know if I ever met someone that could handle finances better I…nah I don’t know if I could do it, lol.
However what works for one person won’t necessarily work for someone else.
I also stack my blocks now in preparation for that mansion later on in life. I don’t spend too much on myself although I could. I do think, at times, I need to spend more on myself. I’m working on that.
I dated a few men that were very irresponsible when it came to money. There is no way I would be giving them control of finances. The last guy I dated had a great handle on his finances.
Opal Tribble/Vegan Momma’s last blog post..Bloggers To Look Out For: Fabulous Community Leaders
..oh yeah and that is one of the many reasons those relationships ended because they could not manage their money. It drove me nuts, lol.
Opal Tribble/Vegan Momma’s last blog post..Bloggers To Look Out For: Fabulous Community Leaders
I honestly think that I am better at the finances in our relationship but one thing I do think needs to be done is the other person that doesn’t do the finances needs to know what the bills are and where the money is going every month.
I agree tater. Bad things happen. I’d hate for my hubby to be in the dark about what needs to be paid and when if he was suddenly without me.
We both handle it. I handle the household and credit cards accounts. He deals with the biggies, the investments, retirement plans…etc. We don’t pick it apart….but because we happen to like each other and chat a lot, he has a general idea when groceries go up in price and various ups and downs of the electric bills.
I think it’s insane for only one person to handle everything…you are supposed to be a team…ACT LIKE IT!
Opal, it’s really a gem *not to mention a real turn on* when I find a guy that can handle money so well.
Maybe that’s why I was so attracted to my husband, because for once, I can stop being responsible for something.
All the other guys I dated where absolutely horrible with money. And I’d like to think that when I do have children in the future, they can have the best of everything.
So, Opal, how many frogs do we all have to kiss in order to find one that’s planning on stacking a foundation for that mansion. I kissed way too many.
I made sure that my boyfriend was very good with finances before we moved in together. We are both good, but I like to think that I am a little bit better. I am usually the one setting out our weekly budget.
Sharon,
I’ll let you know when I find a prince. I’m starting to venture out into dating again. I’m really not looking forward to that. Hopefully I won’t have to go through any frogs.
I know what you mean at times I get tired of being responsible for every freaking thing! It would be nice to have someone that could let me take it easy now and again.
Opal Tribble/Vegan Momma’s last blog post..WinterWolves.com: My Online Source For Mac Games
Opal, that’s where Love is supposed to conquer all…. but when, you factor in money and stability, relationships just fall flat.
Tater03, I also think that is right also. My girlfriend was saying the other day that Dave doesn’t even know how much they pay on bills every month.
And that’s how she gets away spending as much as she can on her clothes.
I am better at finances in our relationship because he can blow through tons of money and have nothing to show for it, and really not even know where it went.
Hi Sharon — thanks again to you and Andy for enabling my parsing! Much appreciated.
I think there should always be complete accounability where finances are concerned in a relationship. I don’t see it as a gender issue at all. Some are beyond chintzy, and others live as though there’s no tomorrow. I like a happy medium and wouldn’t be opposed to a partner pulling in the reigns (somewhat!).
I’m tempted to do the “Don’t Buy A Thing For A Year” (wants, not needs) challenge. I don’t think I’d last a month!
Samantha’s last blog post..Mandy Moore is Self Engaged
Accer, working as a team is a great way to divide the household finance. For now, I leave it with my hubby because for the first time in my life, I don’t have to take care of him.
And he knows that we have equal distribution of everything else that we both need to be responsible for in our marriage.
Jewel, I found that most of the guys I went out with, were not good with planning head. So, you know how I must feel to find someone so refreshingly in touch with reality.
Opal, I’m sure that prince is waiting out there to just meet the right princess….
We should never settle for less than what we believe in.
3Plus3, it’s so easy to blow money away. Especially when you carry change, or just charging by credit.
I’ve been lucky in the past to be able to be ok having a decent spending lifestyle, but my husband has made me see sense when it comes to having a solid foundation for our future. He’s very tight with money eventhough we have enough to go around.
Samantha, LOL! I don’t think I’ll last a year if I took on the same challenge.
Come to think of it, I’d be lucky to last a week….
EVEn though I have been with fellows who were very good with money, they were also very good at making sure the lion’s share was spent for things THEY wanted.
I think it is important for women to avoid situations where they must justify their expenditures to anyone but themselves. With that in mind, I am willing to create a household account that bills are paid from, but I keep an account of my own that I use as I see fit, and my husband does the same.
I refuse to ask for money when it comes to my personal needs.
You’ve got a point there SageMother. However, ever since I handed the finances over to the husband, our money has grown considerably.
Once, I would have thought nothing of getting a $6 Starbucks coffee a day. And like Ginene has said on her post, this expenditure is costing me $2,190.00 per year. I never thought much about spending it because I always had money in the bank. But now, that I’m beginning to see the results, I’m flabbergasted by how easily I could spend twenty dollars a day on almost nothing.
Oh, and let’s not forget my $600 a pair shoe habit …..
This shouldn’t be an issue, at the beginning of their relationship, the couple should be working together in handling the finances. Then if turns out that one is more reliable with that matter, I believe things will be in his/her hands automatically without any argument.
Now the question that came to my mind when I read your post, Sharon, is: Since you are making money on your own, don’t you spend from it? What was does about asking your husband for permission then?
I don’t know why, but I didn’t imagine you were married. ^^ Let alone that you have kids (or did I misunderstood?).
[And let's see if my CL works here!]
Lalla Mira, the ever missing CommentLuv…. I saw you parsing over at Andy’s, don’t know why you seem to be disappearing here?
I am recently married. No kids yet. But my husband is absolutey fantastic with money. Eventhough I make such decent coin doing the internet stuff, I was spending a lot of money on things I didn’t need.
Ever since he took over finances in March, I have been absolutely debt free. Every month, my credit card balance is $0. We will own our house in record time. We have our future children’s education money set. And now that I’m at this point, I am beginning to realize that I value money more in the bank….
Also, he’s making the same effort to do the same thing, so why shouldn’t I?
My girlfriend’s just think that because we make more money than most people, why we are budgeting.
I think the reason why we are this comfortable is because we do.
And you are right, if my husband is the more responsible one, then I am glad it has rubbed off on me somehow.
My brother sounds like your husband. He always has done well with finances and my sister in law tells him what she is purchasing. I have had up close & personal view of how that cane work our very well. He’s not a stingy man and yes she has a shoe habit similar to yours. My brother has done extremely well in the corporate world. I would like to think eventually I’ll get to that level working on my own. I believe I will.
I’m sure eventually I’ll find my prince most likely that will happen when I’m not looking.
That’s a good way to look at that Starbucks coffee for several years I’ve looked at it that way not in how much it will cost me today but in how much will it cost me over x amount of time.
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That is so nice that you thought of me. LOL at the the Starbucks coffee. I wish I could buy at least half of your wardrobe. I guess the reason why I do it is I half too. Oh my gosh are we in debt. This just makes me think I have some money. LOL. Thanks for the link back. Coming right back at ya.
Ginene’s last blog post..Work At Home Jobs: Ratracerebellion
Opal, what is with women and shoes anyway? My husband opened an account for me, and it’s funny how he calls it the Louis Vuitton shoe account. From time to time, he’d say *well, you could have gotten shoes for it, but instead you made some great interest*.
He’s too much for me sometimes :0
Love always comes knocking when you least expect it. It sure would be nice if they came with a *soul mate* sign ~sigh…..
I know, can you just imagine the amount of money I have spent on Starbucks. I think we should have a post on how much money as a whole everybody who reads this blog has spent in the last year!
Ginene, I was definitely thinking about you. I couldn’t even stick to the $3 dollar a day…. until of course, Lem got involved.
I’m sure your site is generating you some very good coin Ginene.
Coins are right. That’s it. I just barely made it past the $200 mark but one day I’ll get some traffic. I know I have the information but traffic will eventually come.
Ginene’s last blog post..How to Be A Diva?
See in our relationship my husband is terrible at following a budget but once I showed him the bills and had him start helping it got easier because he seen why I kept saying we needed to keep to a budget.
I guess it depends on who has more experience. Working on some of it together would be good in theory though…bond over bill? Hehe.
I am the tight wad in our marriage. My hubby is a bug spend thrift.
Ginene, don’t worry…. It will come. It was like that during the first year, and all of a sudden, everyone came.
I really have to be thankful to all my readers.
Tater03, I guess I can really relate to that since my husband did the same thing you did with your husband.
Once you realize that you can indeed make money *grow on trees* I just got hooked…..
Ninikins, LOL! More like Bill over Bond.
Lot’s of relationships don’t survive a bill crisis.
Echos, we spenders need to get leashed in sometime
I am the penny pincher in the house. I try to avoid buying any clothing that isn’t over $10.00 except when buying for a special occasion. I have links in my bookmarks where I can find the best things for as cheaply as possible!
My husband is fairly thrifty also. He takes the bus or rides his bike to work.
Since we are both home bodies, it’s easy to avoid impulse spending. We still want to hit the lottery, though!
LOL
SageMother, I also still want to hit the lottery. I think this is my biggest spend of the week – a big whopping total of $10.
Of course, hubby just doesn’t think spending that much money on a dream is worthwhile.
what do you think?
I wouldn’t let my husband deal with the finances, it is too important. If I want a job doing properly I do it myself.
I deal with the finances, but I make sure that my husband is fully aware of our financial situation.
with us although my husband is the one who brings the bigger pay check…it is usually me who control the buying stuff…and I think it works that way…becasue my hubby is one of those guys who will spend everything if he knows he has got money in his pocket…:)
I’m the one who handles the money here, too… my husband’s good with money and doesn’t overspend or anything, it’s just always been this way and it works.
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