I would not mind getting an Ipod Nano for Christmas, but Santa if I have choice, will you please bring me a new boyfriend instead? And that he did. Three years ago. Just when I was about to give up on finding “the man” and everlasting love.

Finding love is never easy, especially the kind that rises above all trials and tribulations. Do you believe that such a love exists? You know, ’til death do us part. Are we looking for it in the wrong places? Are we asking the right questions? Will anyone ever measure up to our expectations?

Funny enough, the best advise I received was from a friend who told me she was throwing away the list. The one I helped her make - the list of what she is looking for in a man made during one drunken moment in between crying sessions of another relationship down the drain. She explained that you can never ask for the moon, the sun and the stars all in the same lifetime. Instead, she advised me to concentrate on what I do not want in a man. Make that list and keep it short.

Is it a bad compromise? Instead of wanting a man who is 6′2″ with a big career, her list became as simple as wanting a man who does not smoke and does not gamble. And it has worked for her. She has met a fabulous man that met criteria 1 and criteria 2, with a lot more other wonderful goodies that she didn’t expect.

Why this is the most important lesson I have ever learned in my life is no surprise. We get so wrapped up with the material things and the outer packaging, that we overlook what is really important - basic compatability. So, this Christmas season, I hope Santa will bring romance in everyone’s lives when they least expect it.

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